I am down by another 2 pounds this week! That puts me at a 22 lb. loss so far.

I’ve found that one of my biggest obstacles in loosing the weight is that I crank down too hard on myself. I need to increase my caloric allotment a little bit, and then the weight comes off much easier. That has been one of the harder parts of this- trying to figure out what I need to be eating. There seems to be a “sweet spot” for me, where I lose the weight easier. If I eat more or less than that amount, I don’t really see results.

I am getting excited though, being in a different “decade” of numbers. lol I am happy to be in the 220’s, because it is so much closer to where I want to be. I will be even more excited when I get into the 10’s. I am working really hard to try and get to my pre-pregnancy (latest pregnancy) weight before my wedding anniversary at the end of October. If I am dedicated and don’t become overly zealous with the calorie cutting, then I should make it. That would be such a wonderful gift to myself.

There is still quite a way to go before I can fit myself into that green dress for my dad’s wedding. However, I also have a darker green dress that I can button up, that is just a little too snug. I could probably wear that easily by the time the end of August rolls around. It isn’t as flashy as the other dress, but I’m feeling as though the dark green of the dress matches my mood about the wedding better. We’ll see which dress I end up going in. I think that the darker green will end up being more comfortable, but DH might really enjoy seeing me in the lighter, more beautiful dress that he bought for me. All in all, it’s good to know that I won’t be without a dress if I can’t get that zipper up. Even if I can’t make it work for August, I might be able to wear the light dress for my own wedding anniversary. I don’t know where I would wear such a pretty dress, but I’m sure that I could come up with something.

I am just loving blueberries. I never used to eat blueberries, though I thought I kind of was. Oh,  you know what I mean. There are blueberry flecks in lots of different baked goods. However, I went out on a limb and bought blueberries because they had then pretty cheap at Aldi. I don’t think I have ever seen blueberries there before, so I was surprised.

I am just loving my little berries. Last night we had breakfast for dinner, just so I could make real blueberry pancakes. My husband is funny about fruit, so I appreciated it more than he did. (He would be perfectly happy to have his fruit run through the blender before being added to the pancakes.) This morning, I dropped little blueberries into my bowl of oatmeal.

Things are going pretty well for me right now, though I admit to feeling a little off kilter. It isn’t that I am doing anything wrong, just that I feel like I am. lol  I hear and read so many dieting ladies talk about how they have to marshal every single bite that enters their mouth, and while I agree in some ways, I’ve come to learn that if I get too crazy about it I just stall out. I measure and weigh things, and I keep a food journal. I know what I am eating and how much. The big difference is that from time to time, I need to “let my hair down” and relax a little bit, or I squash my weight loss. This gal cannot live by raw veggies alone, even if it is paired with a little salmon. Get me? So, while other folks are shunning pizza, I am happily adding a couple slices to my plate and tossing up a yummy salad.

One lady, whom I read and respect, said that if a person “indulges” themselves too often, then they will have to settle for slower weight loss. I just can’t follow that way of thinking. When I am being super diligent, that is when the scale grinds to a halt. When I increase my calories a little bit and listen to what my body (not my mouth, just to clarify) is telling me that I need, the scale moves pretty fast.

Well, here I am at the 2 month mark! Wow, has it really been that long? It just amazes me that I haven’t balked at all during this time. During previous weight loss ventures I have struggled to get through a week. This just makes me very happy.

I think that one of the things that has made this so much easier for me is that I’ve still been able to eat out with my family. If they are having tacos, I can have them too. If they are having a hamburger, I can have one too. It’s all about making informed decisions. So, I haven’t felt like I’ve lost out on anything during this journey.

When I stepped on the scale this morning, it read a 2 lb. loss since last week. I had to fight real hard to get the scale to move, because it was being stubborn. By working hard, I mean that I had to eat more food, and I lifted heavier weights. lol Eating more seemed to shake things up a bit, and then the scale moved again for me.

I am so happy to have reached the mark of 20 lbs. gone. Yay! That means that I am more than halfway to my first goal. I *probably* won’t make it there by the time my dad gets married, but I think that it is very possible to make it there for my own wedding anniversary. After I get to that point, I may pick at a few pounds while working to figure out where my maintenance level will be for a little while. To me, it sounds like a good idea to dip my toes into the one-hundreds and then just hang out in that spot until after Christmas. I need the exercise in holding one weight, and it might help me get through the holidays. I could have a couple of cookies without getting bent out of shape, but I’ll also still be aware and working on *not* putting weight on. I don’t know- we’ll see.

Now that I am 20 lbs. lighter, all I can think about is the next five pounds. I don’t know how fast I’ll see them come off, especially with my increase in weight training. However, I’ll be real happy when I can put up a starfish next to my anchor. *grins* Five pounds seems like a small amount, something attainable. What I like the best is how those five pound losses add up to big change!

Wow, it is hard to believe that I’ve been doing this for almost two months now! Anyway, I stepped on the scale this morning, and I see that I have lost 1 lb. since I weighed in last week. It was a little disappointing to see such a small loss, since I’ve been working so hard. On the other hand, I have been working really hard. What I’m not seeing on the scale, I’m seeing in the mirror and feeling when I poke and prod my body parts. Today, I noticed that some of my hangy skin isn’t quite so hangy. I also noticed that I have biceps, and that they would be pretty darned sexy if they weren’t disguised by my loose arm fat that waves on the bottom. *chuckles* One day at a time though. One day at a time.

Today was also our first day of lifting weights, though we didn’t do much. Sis hurt herself somehow. She believes that she messed up her back/shoulder while carrying around her little Ladybug. So, she just did a wee bit on the bench-press machine. I was able to do three sets of 12. By the time that I was on my last set, I think I was up to 5 plates on the machine. It’s too bad that I have no idea how heavy the plates are. *grumpy eyebrows* That is one of the big reasons why I love free weights. However, hurting Sis would not made a very good spotter. Once I came home, I did a little bench press in the basement, lifting 50 lbs. on the bar.

Yup, we didn’t have a weight bench when I left the house. DH decided that he needed to build one. He did a good job! That will help me a whole lot. Of course, he will enjoy using it too. 

Ok, I’m getting tired of hanging at this one number. 

Don’t get me wrong, I am much happier to have lost some weight than I was in carrying it around with me. However, I feel like I’ve just gotten a little stuck, and so far from my goal. I am eating good food and exercising, and it is having a positive effect on my body.  I keep reminding myself that I am strengthening and building my muscles. There are some good changes taking place, primarily inches lost even when the scale won’t move. I took some measurements today, and since I got started just over a month ago, I’ve lost 14.75 inches on my body.

Even though the scale doesn’t have much to say for me right now, I can feel changes. My fluffiness actually seems a little fluffier, because I can differentiate between my solid muscle and my fat. Before I started, my skin felt more tight, but only because my fat cells were happily expanding. Now, I can feel the difference as I touch and squeeze my hips, because I can feel the bones in there now, not just the covering of fat.

I’m not a whole lot thinner. At least, I can’t tell much difference when I look at myself. Maybe my rolls aren’t quite as full as they were, but it’s hard for me to see. That is probably why I’ve become too dependent on the scale to congratulate me. I’ve thought about maybe just putting the scale away for a couple weeks, but I’m not sure that I can really do that. *chuckles* Maybe that is all the more reason to give it a try.

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Yup. I think that is what I’m going to do. I will weigh myself tomorrow, and then put the scale away for one week. That will be a good start.

Alrighty, I stepped on the scale this morning, and I am holding steady at 230 pounds. Since I just worked my bum off last night at the gym, I anticipate that that number will slowly inchworm down a little bit during my two days of rest before my weigh-in. I always seem to retain more water when I am exercising real hard, and it takes a little rest to see the scale move. Regardless of what the scale says though, I am losing inches. This morning, I put on my gray slacks that I wore to my papa’s funeral. They are easily 3 inches too big at the waistband right now. My hips are still large enough to keep them from falling off though. They just barely catch. If I visit Dots, I might be able to find a pair like them in a smaller size. That will have to wait until I get a few dollars though. I got these slacks on clearance for $7.

Well, last night was my last workout session with straight cardio. Starting on Tuesday, we will be doing 30 minutes of cardio (either bike or treadmill), and then moving on to the weights. I really enjoy lifting, but I have to be careful. I have to baby my sternum and my hands. I had damaged my cartilage that is attached to my sternum, about 6 years ago or so. Unfortunately, it is very easy to re-injure, and I’ve done that a few times too. So, now I try to be very aware of how I am feeling, especially when doing butterfly presses. As for my hands, I just have dainty little hands. They are a little at odds with the rest of my body. My muscles are strong enough to lift decent weight, but my doctor thought I had broken my hand by doing just that. So, if I start to feel any strain in my hands at all, I’ll have to lower the weight.

Some time over the next couple of days, I need to go out and buy a pair of lifting gloves. I’m not going to show up at the “man boob gym” without my wedding ring, but it cuts my finger real bad if I wear it without any protection. So, I’ll spring for a pair of gloves again. I had a real nice pair before, until the dog became weird and ate them. He didn’t touch anything else in my gym back, except that he tore apart my gloves. Weirdo.

I’ve been doing pretty well with my MP3 player, even though the headphone jack is loose. In an effort to save money, I haven’t gotten a new player. I’m going to ask DH if he will get me one for Christmas though, so long as I show good commitment to exercising faithfully. There is no point in buying a new player if I don’t put it to good use, you know? I don’t want to be one of those people who buys all new doodads in order to feel “ready” to exercise- and then they don’t do it. lol

I thought that I would pat myself on the back a little bit, because I made it through the 4th of July without going “off plan” at all. I was asked a few questions here and there, but everyone seemed very positive about the fact that I brought a lunch box full of “my” food. Since everyone was having hamburgers, I brought a bocca burger, lettuce, tomato, and two slices of “light” bread. Uncle Bob and I talked about “diets” while standing at the grill, waiting for my asparagus to cook… along with the hotdogs.

For desert, I brought watermelon, 60 calorie yogurt, and some rice crisps. I felt content enough that I didn’t even pout a little bit when everyone started eating brownies. Oh, how I love chocolate. I did great though, and that is a good thing. Now, can I do just as well for Thanksgiving? lol

There are just some things that take the wind right out of my sails. Last night, it was a man saying to me, “When is your baby due?”. It never becomes any less humiliating for me, no matter how many times it happens. It must just be because of how I wear my fat. That doesn’t change the fact that it feels awful, especially given that I would very much like to be pregnant, so long as I could give birth to a live, healthy child. Instead, I’m just fluffy and look pregnant, apparently. Oh, the irony of looking perpetually pregnant while unable to carry my own babies.

Ugh.

There was also that interesting situation of spending time with a gal that my husband has known. My brain knows that it was a long time ago, but it still doesn’t make it any nicer to know where he has been. It wasn’t even that he loved her, but that he got what he could get. I didn’t know that she was going to be around when he called to see about getting together with his dad. I found out at the last minute, and then was never even introduced. I don’t think that DH has any bit of attachment to the gal, but it still got to me that he spent his time acting as though I wasn’t in attendance. So, I took Pumpkin’s hand and went off elsewhere. Uncomfortable. Uncomfortable. Uncomfortable.

At least the fireworks were pretty, regardless of how ugly I felt.

Aw, I’m happy. 

I was a little worried yesterday, because I was pretty hungry. For the first half of the day, I was afraid to really eat anything, because I wasn’t feeling well. Pumpkin and I were on our way to her favorite little diner though, so I did eat. We split a breakfast, and I even ate two sausage links and a couple ounces of the grits. Anyway, I ate steadily throughout the day, a little bit at a time. It was after midnight when I went to bed though, so I found myself eating more in the evening than I had wanted. I had a small portion of Mac & Cheese with about an ounce of roast beef. Then, when my stomach was still giving me a hard time right before bed, I ate some watermelon. I was really anticipating some sighing and pouting when I stepped on the scale this morning. Instead, I’ve lost a pound. My body must have truly been hungry!

Thankfully, my stomach feels better this morning. I have a small headache because of the weather, but that should go away when I begin to exercise. Dark, rainy weather is tough on me. I thrive on sunshine, even if it isn’t warm. I just need the sun.

Tonight is my gym night, and I’m looking forward to it. Saturday will be our last day of straight cardio. Next week, we will begin lifting weights. Since we tend to go later in the evening, I’m hoping to have the free weights open. Earlier in the day, they are constantly swarmed by man-boobs. Sis and I avoid the guys like they have the Black Plague, so she said that she would only use the free weights with me if the men are cleared out sufficiently enough. Otherwise, that silly sister of mine is going to expect me to use the machines. Have I mentioned that I don’t like the machines? They don’t help me improve my balance, muscle control, or strengthen my weaker left arm.

Ah, but tonight is not going to be a lifting night. Instead, I’ll get there early and start my “hike” on the treadmill. For some goofy reason, my bad knee feels better if I increase the incline. I work there for a good 25 minutes or so before Sis gets there. Once we’ve walked together for about 10 minutes, I step off to refill my water bottle, and I just talk to her while she walks. It gives me a chance to rest my legs, which helps me to not fall down. *laughs* It also helps Sis to get through her brisk walk without noticing the time going by. Then we hit the bikes and cycle for about 45 minutes or so, while listening to music and watching tv.

I’m going to talk to Sis tonight about changing things up a bit, so our muscles don’t get used to the routine. That might take a little creativity for me, because she can do things like the elliptical machine, but I cannot. That machine is torture on my bum knee.

This week, I am down by 1.5 pounds, which I am very happy for. I didn’t know if I’d be losing any weight this week, with my exercise schedule. I think that it helps me to have a couple of rest days before I weigh in. If I keep plugging away at this, I may see 20 pounds gone either next week, or the week after. That will be a happy day. Once I reach that number, then I am more than halfway to my first goal.